Learn To Love
by Melephunk2010
Summary: My take on Mickey's refund, the ILY scene and its aftermath.
1. Chapter 1

**Learn to love**

Description: My take on Jackson paying off Mickey, I Love you scene, and its aftermath.

Characters: Aaron/Jackson/Adam

eeeeeeee

**Chapter 1**

Jackson sighed as he knocked firmly on the white door. The door was swung open and Mickey stood there, looking angry

"Can I help you?" he asked, bitterly

"It's more a case of me helping you mate. First off I want to apologise for him."

"Aaron?"

"Yeah. That doesn't mean I agree wirth what you did to Clyde."

"He brought that on himself. I promised if he gave me the refund I'd be out of his life. You know he came round here with that mutt? Giving it the big I am? Reckoning he could take me on?"

Jackson sighed and shook his head. So that's where Aaron had been, that's why he wanted to borrow the van.

"He promised me he was coming round to give you your refund mate. I thought he had."

"Well, looks like he gets off on conning you aswell as me."

Jackson sighed and nodded "I know, and like i say, I'm here to apologise for him and hand this over."

Jackson took a wad of cash from his pocket and handed it to Mickey. "Here's your refund."

"That's all I wanted all along."

Jackson nodded "Will you stay out of his life now?". He asked, almost dreading the reaction he was going to get. Luckily, Mickey agreed.

"Just a shame I had to do that to get him to comply isn't it?"

Jackson titlted his head to the side "He hasn't exactly given me permission to do this. His boss has though. Aaron knows nothing about it. I just hope he stays out of your life too"

"Well, thank you. I assume you're Jackson, yes?"

"Yeah."

Mickey nodded and extened his hand, which Jackson shook. "Nice to meet you Jackson mate. Least he's got some friends who know to do the right thing eh?"

"Yeah well, I don't want to see him get anymore involved than he already has. He's promised me he's going to forget about Clyde. Well, He said he's willing to..But i know him too well. Anyway yeah, I just wanted to give you that refund. Just keep away from him now, yeah?"

Mickey nodded and both of them said a final goodbye before Jackson headed back to his van. he climbed in and slammed the door shut, resting his head on the steering wheel. He hated going behind his boyfriend's back, he knew Aaron wouldn't be best pleased when he found out. But at least it was over now. It had been the final straw for Jackson, when Aaron had lost Clyde, through his own stupidity. Even though his boyfriend was devastated at the loss of his best friend, Jackson had walked. He had enough of Aaron's stubborn little vendetta with Mickey. Even when Clyde died Aaron refused to hand over the money, He seemed more intent on getting revenge. Jackson knew, that if he didn't put an end to it when he did, Aaron would've ended off getting killed too.

Jackson started the van and began the drive back to the village. He pulled up outside Smithy, to see Aaron returning home from work.

"Where've you been?"

Jackson sighed as he and Aaron entered the warm house. "I went to see Mickey."

"Why?"

"To put an end to this stupid little feud! I've given him the refund, with Cain's permission by the way."

"You didn't ask mine though, did you?"

"I don't need to! Cain owns that garage, not you."

"It's MY car!"

"Aaron, open your eyes! Look what has happened! It's because of you and that car that Clyde is dead!"

Wow. THAT was cold. Aaron stared at him, anger flashing in his sapphire eyes. "Don't you DARE try and pin Clyde's death onto me!"

"It's true! If you had given him that refund when he asked for it, Clyde would still be alive. Clyde died and it was YOUR fault. You had plenty of chances to give him that refund Aaron! So don't fucking play innocent!"

"Who the hell do you think you are Jackson?"

"Well, I THINK I'm your boyfriend, I don't know, You tell me!"

"I don't need anyone's help!"

"Yeah you say that. What would you have done Aaron if I didn't give him that refund, and he didn't stop at Clyde? He could've hurt Paddy, you…"

"Don't bring Paddy into this Jackson!"

"Aaron, you can look at this whichever way you like, you can hate me for it, you can scream and shout at me as much as you like, I was protecting you. Like boyfriends are supposed to do!"

"I don't need protecting! If I get my head kicked in, I get my head kicked in. Just back off!" Aaron yelled

"You never do need protecting, until you're in too deep. What the hell would you have done if I wasn't there when Wayne came looking for you?"

"Don't start about that prick! Why cant you just leave things alone Jackson?"

"Because I love you!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Aaron stood in stunned silence as he watched the tears spill down Jackson's cheeks.

"Aaron…Say something? Please?"

Aaron shook his head, "Whatever" he scoffed, picking his jacket back up and leaving the house, leaving Jackson sobbing at the kitchen table.

eeeeeee

Aaron's mind was racing. Did he really just hear Jackson say that? He went to the only place he felt he could, to his best friend, Adam Barton.

Adam was outside feeding the sheep as Aaron arrived. John noticed him approaching and quietly whispered to Adam

"Think someone needs to see you." John smiled, knowing the situation with Aaron losing Clyde.

Adam passed the feed bucket to his dad and walked toward his friend.

"Aaron? Are you ok?"

Aaron shook his head, his blue eyes shimmering with tears.

"Come on, I'll get you inside and we can talk ok?"

Aaron nodded, feeling numb and followed his friend.

They both entered the warm house to find Hannah and Isaac at the table, studying.

"Hannah, could you give us a minute please? I need to talk to Aaron. Take this, and you and Isaac go to the café or something" Adam smiled, handing his sister a tenner.

Hannah smiled and bolted out of the door with Isaac, the dam then burst and Aaron sat at the table, sobbing

"Mate, What's happened?"

"He's ruined everything, Adam." Aaron sniffed, wiping his eyes

"Who has? Is this about that Mickey bloke again? What's he done now? He hasn't hurt Jackson?"

"It's Jackson I'm talking about!

"Why? You were so happy when he gave you that second chance after…well, you know.." Adam soothed, putting his hand on Aaron's shoulder.

Aaron shook his head "I don't know what to do Adam, I really don't!"

"Aaron, If you need my help you're gonna have to explain a little bit more."

"He's ended this feud I've got going on with Mickey. He went round there earlier to give him his money back and warn him to keep away from me."

"He's just looking out for you mate. I'm scared for you aswell. You could've been killed aswell as Clyde."

"I know…But how is that going to make me look? I'll look so pathetic in front of Cain. I got my….Jackson to do a job for me. Like he doesn't rib me enough with the fact that I'm living with him!"

"Seriously, you need to forget about what Cain thinks. Do what YOU want to do, not what Cain tells you to do. Is that all that's bothering you? The fact that Jackson got that nut-bar off your back?"

"He said…He said he did it because….He loves me, Adam." Aaron sobbed. "Jackson's in love with me and I'm scared…I don't know what the hell to do!"

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Jackson was still sat at the kitchen table in Smithy Cottage, the flow of tears constant. His head shot up as he heard the door open, expecting it to be Aaron, it was his mum, and her face drained of colour when she saw the mess her son was in.

"Jackson! What the hell has happened? Has he hurt you?"

"I've messed up, mum. I've REALLY messed up!"

"Is this something to do with that argument earlier on? Has he hit you again?"

"No Mum. This is something I've done."

"Why can't he understand you were protecting him? It could of easily been him instead of Clyde." She soothed, wrapping her arms around her still sobbing son

"I know. That's why I did it. I don't want to see him get hurt Mum. And I did something stupid and I've pushed him away."

"What's happened Jackson?"

"You know you said to me the other day his stubborn streak is part of why I love him? Well I do. I DO love him Mum. It slipped out during the argument. I wanted to tell him when we were in Lanzarote. But I knew how he'd react."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing. Just what he normally does, Freaks out and runs away. I've ruined everything Mum. What if he doesn't want me back? I can't lose him."

"I thought he didn't want to lose you either?"

"That's what I thought. I thought I was doing this to help him. Paying off Mickey. He was devastated when Clyde died. I didn't want to see anyone else get hurt."

"He'll be back, Jackson."

"I hope so Mum. I really do. I just wanna be sure he's ok. If he's stormed out because of what I've said and he's had some kind of run-in with Mickey...I'll never forgive myself"

"You paid Mickey off though" Hazel replied, still cradling her son

"I know. But something doesnt feel right Mum, I've paid off Mickey but what's to say Aaron's not round there now? he could be in serious trouble Mum."

"Then let him deal with it, Jackson. He's big enough and ugly enough to deal with things himself. You're not gonna keep picking up the peices Jackson. When I first met him, i said to myself, i said "Hazel, he's a good looking boy. Jackson's picked a good 'un." Boy, how wrong was I? He can't keep doing this to you Jackson, And the more you take him back, the more he's going to walk all over you."

"I know. He's an idiot, He doesn't think about things, but i can't let him go Mum. Not without a fight anyway." Jackson replied, pulling out of his mother's embrace. He wiped his eyes and grabbed his jacket, to start scouring the village for his boyfriend.

eeeeeee

"He's in love with you?" Adam asked, trying to get it clear in his head

Aaron nodded, his head still resting on Adam's shoulder "I…I don't know what to do, Adam."

"Aaron, You need to tell him how you feel."

"That's the problem. I don't think I know anymore. I thought I did..you know..when we were in Lanzarote. I just can't deal with it. I've never had anyone say that to me before Adam and I don't know what to do."

"Paddy loves you. I love you.."

"Yeah but that's different. Jackson's my boyfriend Adam, I just..I wanted to have a good time. I didn't want to be in this position so quickly. I wanted to have fun Adam, not a relationship but I just can't bear letting him go."

"Then you need to tell him this."

"I can't."

"If you dont want to lose him Aaron you have to. He's probably out there looking for you now."

"I know. I've broken his heart by not saying it back. This it Adam. I've lost him for good."

"You don't know that, Aaron."

"I do. I just...I don't even know what its supposed to feel like. Whether i do love him or not."

"Aaron, Nobody truly knows what love feels like. You just know. If you can't bear to be without Jackson, and you're happy with him, and you can see some kind of future together, then that's pretty much love mate. Look at me. I would never of thought I could be in love at 18. But I wouldn't change Scarlett for the world. She means everything to me. And the way you act around Jackson...All flirty and smiling. I've never seen you like that Aaron. Not even with Holly. When you're with Jackson, and you're in a good mood, which is rarer than Cain being in a good mood, you're a totally different person."

"I know. I care about him, A hell of a lot. and i do have really strong feelings for him. i just..I dont know whether that's love yet."

"Then you've got your answer Aaron. You know what you need to do. If he loves you, like he says he does, He'll understand."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

After thanking Adam and giving him a hug, Aaron head back to Smithy, a storm was raging overhead and Aaron was cursing himself, He didn't want to wreck what he had with Jackson, Jackson had done that already.

He noticed the outline of a figure heading towards him, he squinted through the sheets of rain and recognised the figure to be Jackson.

Jackson sighed with relief as he approached Aaron. "Aaron? Where've you been?" He asked, his voice thick with panic.

"I went to Adam's."

"Thank god. I had a horrible feeling you'd gone to Mickey's."

"I've already told you that I've forgotten about that!" Aaron snapped.

"Yeah I know, But I know what you're like! I've been out here ages looking for you!"

"Yeah well if you hadn't said what you did I wouldn't be out here would I?" Aaron asked, failing to notice the tears that were still pouring down Jackson's cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Aaron. What do you want me to do? I never meant for you to find out like that, but I do. So much. I can't shake that feeling off, Aaron." Jackson sobbed. "I'd do absolutely anything for you. Hence why I gave that guy his refund. I didn't wanna be the one standing on that bridge in a few weeks, scattering you."

Aaron felt his defences weaken slightly "That was never going to happen Jackson."

"You don't know that Aaron. You already said to me you couldn't bear to lose me. Well think of this as my way of returning those feelings. I know you'll probably never return mine…"

"Jackson, It's not that. You scared me. I didn't know what to do. And in those situations I did what I do best."

"Why do you still seem so scared of it all Aaron? There's noting wrong with being gay. What are you so scared of?"

"Rejection. I've dealt with it all my life Jackson and when I realised who I was those fears came back. I don't want to be rejected all the time." Aaron sobbed.

Jackson pulled Aaron into a cuddle, the storm still raging above him, both boys were soaked to the skin. "Come on, Let's get inside before we get ill. Talk to me, Aaron. but I'm giving you this ultimatum Aaron. I cant take this anymore, you either Let me in or you let me go."

eeeeeeeeeee

Both boys had returned to the cottage they had both dried off and Pearl made them a pot of tea. She was still insisting that Jackson needed fattening up, so cut them each a slice of cake she had made earlier that day.

"She's a godsend, that woman." Jackson half smiled as Pearl left the boys alone

"Yeah, she is. Shes done so much for me and Paddy."

Jackson sat down on the sofa with Aaron sitting on the table opposite.

"So, talk to me. Tell me what's going on, Aaron."

"It scared me Jay. REALLY scared me. Everyone who I thought loved me had turned their back on me and left me. My dad, doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned and he probably thinks the same about me. I sometimes wonder if Mum would of made such an effort if I wasn't gay and didnt try to...you know. I stupidly lost Clyde... I had a horrible feeling you were going to do the same."

"I'd never do that to you."

Aaron nodded, the tears flowing down his face again. "Yeah I know."

"I just…I need to know how you're feeling Aaron, Even if you don't feel the same. I just want to know what is going on inside that head of yours."

"I don't know Jay. I'm so confused…I like you, I really do, but I don't know if it's love. I care about you, so bloody much it hurts, and it hurts when I think of all the times I lost you. I don't want that to happen again Jackson. I don't love you like you love me. Not yet. I just…I don't even know how it feels."

Jackson nodded understandably "Aaron, look at me, It's ok."

"But I've broken your heart right? The fact that I don't think I can say it back yet, If you want rid of me then say. I'll stop all the chasing like I have the previous times. If you wanna go, then go."

"I'm not going Aaron. It's upset me that you don't feel the same but, Like I've said before, this is your first proper relationship, I don't expect you to be head over heels in love with me. I just….I wanted you to know how I felt, I just didn't want it to happen in that way. I don't even know if you'll ever love me back."

Aaron nodded and leaned in to kiss Jackson. "Just let me try? I want to be able to love you, Jackson. I just don't know when I'm going to get there. But I need you."

"And you know I'll be here. I actually feel like a bit of an idiot now. Telling you that."

"But at least I know you mean it. And that you're not gonna walk away from me like everyone else has. Promise me you'll stay?"

Jackson smiled and nodded "I promise, Aaron. And even though you don't feel it, I'm going to say it again. I love you. And I'm not letting you go."

**THE END**


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